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HUGH MILLER
Teen Eastenders: Heroes


click to enlarge

Armada, London, 1988
(price: 1.95; 128 pages)


The blurb on the back:

Simon Wicks decided it was time for a change. Tired of his clean, boring image, he was determined to toughen up. 'Be who you want to be' he told himself as he tried to emulate his heroes.
Meanwhile, Simon's older brother, David, was reassessing his own image too. Already cool and confident, he had set his sights on being a business tycoon.
How long could they keep up their new roles and what would it take for them both to realize that maybe what they were best at was being themselves?


It was, and is, rubbish on television; it's worse on the page. Unlike Coronation Street, Eastenders never even had a golden era to look back at, and to cast a reflected glory over its many lean years. Admittedly the cause wasn't helped by the fact that the series started in the 1980s, when just about everything was dire, but even so Eastenders never cut the mustard. It was, and is, an insult to the intelligence of the British people.

The only reason I include it here is to point out that Nick Berry (pictured on the sleeve in his role as Simon Wicks) was around this time voted the Sexiest Man on TV. That's how bad the '80s were.


ARTISTIC MERIT: 1/5
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE:
1/5
HIPNESS QUOTIENT:
1/5


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